like a leper, lynzee.

About Me

"you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
hullo. i'm lynzee. i'm not prejudice, people. i hate everyone EQUALLY. okay, so, i'm fourteen and i'm in grade nine. i like school, and i like learning. i want to study hair or music when i finish high school. i'm sick and tired of trying to explain how I feel, when they don't get it in the first place. why share my feelings if no one understands them? i love harry potter with a passion ;magic and wizards are fascinations to me. i'm still waiting for my hogwarts letter, actually. i'm a very selfish, vile, unkind, cruel, rude, and malicious. i am definitely not the person you want to try to be friends with. i'll probably just hurt you like i seem to do everyone these days. but i do have a few best friends, and i don't really want more than what i have now. friends sometimes can be overrated and i hate socialness, so i'm sticking with the five i call my best friends; all the others are just friends. i play clarinet and i love band. music and art is amazing. i love reading quotes; i could do it all day. i'm a christian and i love god. life is hard sometimes, but i know god wouldn't give me something i can't handle. it's just i wish he wouldn't...trust me so much. but it's okay. i serve him, and no other. i wish i could stop caring what my parents think, but after years of craving for their love and attention, it's hard to do. i don't know myself very well right now, so i can't be sure of anything. most of the time i feel so awkward, you know, like i don't belong in my own skin. i get frustrated at everything and anyone. i feel like i want to scream my lungs out all the time; when there's no reason for it. i just dislike who i am right now. and i know i have to work on liking myself and knowing who i am. i don't need you, or anyone telling me what i need to do with my life. i know i'm not sure who i am right now, but i know what i want. i want to be successful, and i want to be smart. and if i don't reach your level of standards, i don't really care. i love this boy who means the world to me. but, he just doesn't like me, and the way i feel is something you don't know. so don't tell me "i know how you feel" because you don't, and you won't. how can you know how i feel when i'm not even sure half the time? exactly. i don't like to reason with people, and i'm not social. i don't do social. i hate talking to people i don't know and i feel shy most of the time. but i'm me. you can't and won't change that, and maybe, just maybe, you could give me a chance, even though i don't deserve it. it's time for me to start living my life. i'm not afraid to die.